What does the Bible say about Soulmates?

Psalms 42: 1-2

For most people dating and marriage is an enigma. We’re all here trying to figure out which person is right for us and then when we do get married we sometimes question if we made the right choice in the first place.

Because of our collective confusion about dating the media have (for many years) scooped in to offer ‘advice’ through countless movies, songs and even YouTube videos of gorgeous couples. Oftentimes telling us that our soulmate is just around the corner waiting to introduce themselves at our favourite coffee shop or bump into us on the street in the classic meet-cute we see on television shows.

It’s easy to get swept up in the idea of meeting that one special person that’s meant for you. The person who will ‘complete’ you. But as Christians, we should our have loins guided with the truth and always use the Bible as our guide when making life choices. So what does the Bible say about soulmates?

What is a soulmate?

The word soulmate does not appear in the King James Version Bible. But one can argue that the concept of a ‘soulmate’ can be seen sprinkled throughout scripture, but not in the way that you think, more on this later.

It is said that the word ‘soulmate’ was first recorded by 19th-century poet Samuel Taylor Coleridge when he penned a letter to a young lady discussing marriage. He wrote “In order not to be miserable, you must have a Soul-mate…” Then years later in the 1980s when the word picked up steam and now we have all of those cheesy rom/coms to thank for popularizing the term.

But the idea of the soulmate reaches even further with philosophers like Pluto who describe what it feels like to finally find ‘the one’.

“And when one of them meets with his other half, the actual half of himself, whether he be a lover of youth or a lover of another sort, the pair are lost in an amazement of love and friendship and intimacy, and would not be out of the other’s sight, as I may say, even for a moment: these are the people who pass their whole lives together; yet they could not explain what they desire of one another.”

According to these thinkers, a soulmate is a person you’re meant to be with and when you finally find this person there is an instant connection that will last lifetimes. As Pluto explains in Symposium humankind was originally one but Zeus (Greek god) split them in two. Therefore there is a longing to find your other half.

What we can learn from Adam and Eve

Not surprisingly, this idealogy can also be found in the Bible when God created Adam and then created his wife Eve from his rib. However, the problem with Pluto’s and Coleridge’s thinking is that it leads us to believe that this magical feeling of love and intimacy will last forever.

The Bible (Genesis 2:18-25) gives an account of how the first marriage happened. Out of Adam God created Eve. From verse 24 “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh,” one could possibly assume that the hypothesis of soulmates is true in a biblical sense. After all, Adam and Eve were once one being, however, if we look a bit deeper into the scripture we can understand how this account of the first marriage applies to us today.

“And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.”
Genesis 2: 21

It was God’s plan and Adam’s reliance on God that this first union came to be, in other words, God brought Adam and Eve together.

While that idea of magically meeting your other half sounds all sexy, the reality for us believers is that we must trust in God to lead us to the one He wants us to be with. But even though God has to lead us to the ‘right’ person it doesn’t mean that it’s going to be all sunshine and rainbows from now on. After all, as perfectly mated a pair that Adam and Eve were they did have their disagreements (which led to the entire world being plagued with sin). You’re not always going to feel that natural special connection and lasting intimacy takes work.

The soul’s true mate

The idealogy of a soulmate (two becoming one) is discussed many times throughout the Bible but is mentioned more when dealing with our relationship with Christ.

In Isaiah 54:4 God is described as our husband “For your Maker is your husband; the Lord of hosts is his name.”

Galatians 3:28 describes us as all being one in Christ “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.”

Psalms 42: 1-2 describes the longing of the soul to be with God “As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God. My soul thirsteth for God, for the living God: when shall I come and appear before God?”

Some scholars have even argued that the entire book of Songs of Solomon is a metaphor for Christ’s love for his church and vice versa. There exists in every one of us (conscious or not) a yearning for a soul connection with God.

In conclusion

The world’s ideas of a soulmate can leave us with unrealistic expectations, bitterness and discontentment. In all aspects of our lives, we should seek the Bible and pray for God’s wisdom and guidance. The true feeling of belonging can’t come from a romantic partner, the one only who can truly make us feel whole is God.

If you have a question, query or story you’d like to share with me, please be sure to email me using the form below. I’d love to hear from you.