What to do when people let you down - All According to Plan

Matthew 6:12

Have you ever been let down or disappointed by someone? I’m sure you have. People will inevitably let you down. It’s an unfortunate part of the human experience. Human beings are by nature selfish; we are easily inclined to consider our feelings above others. The people you expect to be considerate, such as your friends and family may at times disappoint you.

They may say or do things that hurt your feelings. Especially when it comes to dealing with mental illness, many people around you might not understand what you’re going through. This lack of understanding may result in you feeling disappointed, and alone and you may think “How could they do this?”

The feeling of disappointment is normal, but we must learn to manage our feelings before they spiral into hurtful actions. We must understand that we are all human and we all make mistakes. Not everyone is out to attack you and the world doesn’t revolve around you. Sometimes it’s just a matter of people being people.

People being people

Therefore, the first thing you must do when people let you down is to allow yourself to feel sad and disappointed. Learning to manage your emotions is vital for mental health care. Unmanaged or uncontrolled emotions can lead to sporadic actions. It is very possible that you can make a bad situation worse if you act based on how you feel. Instead, take some time to allow yourself to feel without doing anything. Think about how their actions have impacted you and analyze why you are feeling the way you do, before saying or doing anything.

The Bible reminds us that emotions themselves are not bad. But when you act based on your hurt, you can end up doing something you might regret.

“Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:”
Ephesians 4:26

Secondly, you should try to look at things from the other person’s perspective. Maybe there’s a particular reason why they disappointed you. Place yourself in the other person’s shoes, and see if you would’ve made the same decision. If possible, express how you feel and ask questions. There is a chance that there may have been a misunderstanding. Don’t allow the thoughts of other people’s actions to ruin your mental health.

“Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.”
Matthew 18:15

Thirdly, trust in God more than you did before. What can you learn from this letdown? Is it possible that God is asking you to trust in Him more? It’s so easy to put our trust in what others can do for us because we can see them. It may be difficult to trust God with your problems because He seems far off. God is always looking out for His people, whether you can see Him working or not. Through this situation maybe God is asking you to rely more on his providing power.

“O taste and see that the LORD is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in him.”
Psalm 34:8

As we forgive our debtors

Lastly, ask God to help you to forgive. Is it possible someone did something to purposefully let you down or hurt you? Well, yes. We live in a world of sin and there are people (even your friends and family) who will say or do a thing to intentionally hurt you. Just the thought of this is enough to send you into a spiral of anger and sadness.

But you know what?

Forgive them anyway.

Why? Because God forgave you. We have all done things that have disappointed God, but when we repent, He grants us forgiveness anyway. It may be difficult to forgive someone who let you down. It may be difficult to accept that not everyone will understand what you’re going through. Maybe that person is not even aware that they disappointed you. But as Jesus said (Luke 23:34) “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.” Forgive them for their ignorance, let go, let God and walk away.

“Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.”
Colossians 13:3

The truth is that the closer you get to people, the more deeply they can hurt you. And they will hurt you. It’s up to you to decide if you allow them to remain in your life or not.

Prayer for Today:

Dear Heavenly Father,

Give me the spirit of forgiveness. Help me to manage my emotions and to forgive others when they disappoint me. I am not perfect Father but you have forgiven me, I am forever grateful. Help me to overcome the pain and scars on my life left by other’s actions. Give me the strength to let go.

Amen.

References:

6 ways to take care of yourself when people disappoint you–Psychology Today

Dealing with disappointment when friends let you down–Better Help

No one believes me when I ask for help or say I’m struggling–Mental Health of America

Thank you for taking the time to read this devotion today. On Mental Health Mondays, I discuss how God’s word can help us better care for our mental health. If you have a question, query or story you’d like to share with me, please be sure to email me using the form below. I’d love to hear from you.